Bullshit Reality [no sugar coat]

I’m sorry guys, but I was faking it.

Hear me out though! Telling a guy he’s not as good as he thinks he is can really bruise the ego. I may talk stern and seem like I don’t care but the fact of the matter is: I can’t bring myself to be honest with males sometimes. I’ve faked wet p**** noises, orgasms, and I’ve told guys it was good but it wasn’t. All to make them feel a little better about themselves but in the end, I sacrificed my own pleasure. Most were HORRIBLE, some weren’t terrible, and a few just weren’t working out. I’m a demisexual: which means that I must have an emotional and intimate bond with someone in order to even think about being with them. Most of the guys I have messed with didn’t even reach that far. [Insert Queen Of Ghostin’] If he isn’t trying to move up in life then I wasn’t interested, I left the situation before the thought even entered their minds to leave me. I just went along with the bullshit because for a few of them I thought we were going to be something more. Something loving and filled with accomplished goals; but it turns out I was living a pipe dream. These dudes didn’t give a fuck about what I wanted, they just wanted to nutt.

So I faked it.

The head was never good. They tried to turn me on with their fingers but she [my coochie] was never interested. Eventually, the sex was okay but not to my satisfaction; why do guys always gotta rush shit? There’s only one guy I’ve met that could turn me on simply by a touch; Jason. He knew all the spots and areas to caress without touching my private parts. I used to wonder what would have been if I didn’t lose contact with him, he was truly mesmerizing. What turned out to be better? Masturbation, I kind of got addicted at one point. I know a lot of people who are against it but to be 100 percent honest, I learned a lot about my body that way. I found out things I never knew I could do and I understood my female anatomy a little more; for example, what my area should feel and look like? Downside? I started to abuse my shit! Being a virgin was hard when you have such a high sex drive. I swear my shit got numb or I really can’t be turned on fully by that mediocre shit. So instead, I sold a fake life to these males and sold my own pleasure all because I didn’t have the heart to demand what I want. THAT was the old me. Now? I do not care, I am not putting my all into someone who is going to half ass me. My pleasure is making sure my man is pleased so from now on, that’s y’alls too! Slow the fuck down and enjoy the ride men! You’d be surprised the difference in the way a woman’s body reacts when it’s being treated right. You might even find out your girl’s body is not how you think it is, but MORE! Imagine a whole new level of intimate love when you pay attention to the body, mind, and soul of your partner.

I’m not trying to call anyone out, this is just MY truth. This blog is about truth, lies, and the mental clarity in the end. Okay, I faked it with all you men, My bad. I should have been honest and told you to take your lame ass home but I’m too nice. Take it how you please but this simply a BULLSHIT REALITY.

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