Often times it’s someone else that realizes your potential before you do. They can see from an unbiased opinion the type of direction you could place yourself in if you would only realize the star quality within you. For example: I had a meeting today with my team leader and he expressed to me that he can see so much potential for me in the company but I just need to work on professionalism and my patience to reach further. Another example: when I asked this guy I used to talk to why it didn’t work out, he informed me out a trait I didn’t realize was such an issue, constantly putting myself down. He explained to me at first he assumed I was just going through a point in life that was slightly more difficult that usual, when he realize that it was always my way of thinking he couldn’t deal with it. I now realize a lot of our arguments stemmed from that trait. We are cool to this day and it was refreshing for his honest opinion. I know I lack confidence in myself but I always assumed it was a beauty thing, but now I realize I would put myself down for basically anything: I’ll never get that promotion, I’m not good enough to sing live, I can’t wear that it’s only for skinny girls, and many more things I’d say to halt myself from (in my head) making a fool of myself.
On Saturday, I was really not feeling like myself. I didn’t have the energy to do anything to be honest. I wanted to clean my whole room and my car, I ended up cleaning my car and laying down in my room instead of cleaning it for the rest of the afternoon. I can’t tell you exactly what it was, but I was just not feeling to good that day. One of my guy friends decided that I needed to get out of my house and out of that “funk.” I eventually agreed to go get something to eat with him that evening. It put me in a slight better mood until I started to do my hair. As a black woman, it’s hard to do my hair – ESPECIALLY since it’s natural. I struggled for more than 30 minutes trying to get my hair into a style I felt cute in, nothing worked. I felt like I wanted to shave my head off right there and then. I ended up sending him a message saying my hair ain’t working so I ain’t going no where. He cussed me out LOL! So I said, screw it. I sprayed my hair with some water and conditioner, picked it out, and went with my hair in an afro. Still unhappy with my hair, I went to get some food with him. During the outing, he gets up to go to the bathroom and these three black females come walking past our booth. They stop. Now before I go any further let me just say, THESE GIRLS ARE DROP-DEAD GORGEOUS! Like front page Model. They looked and smelled like money. The first girl walks over and says to me, “GIRRRRRRRRL… YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL MAMA!” The second girl chimes in, “yesssss my chocolate queen, show off that crown goddess…” The third girl says, ” oooooOOOOO and she thick? YESSSS GIRL!!!” I almost cried sitting there listenting to them. We went back and forth complimenting each other for like 5 minutes; my guy friend had also returned during the time we were talking. I just want to say to whoever those girls are: Thank You!! If you had any idea how shitty, self-conscious, ugly, fat, unloved, not good enough, embarrassed, and just simply tired I was that day… You’d understand how much your words meant to me. My guy friend all even asked me why are my eyes watery, I told him cause yah girl was fighting back tears. He made my day by bringing my out and just being so nice, but they made my life by showing me that I AM beautiful ! Regardless of your hair not sitting right, regardless of how much you weigh, regardless of where you mental wellness is at, you are beautiful! To be honest, It’s hard being black in this world. As I walked into the restaurant I can see the different looks because of how I was dress and how my hair looked, but these girls reminded me: “fuck the opinions of others and own yo shit!” If you really look at it, these girls didn’t have to stop and say all that. If we going by comparison, I could never measure up to how beautiful these girls were, but they didn’t see me as less than… They saw me as my own beauty. That taught me an important lessons on views.
We don’t see the potential we have within ourselves because we are too busy comparing ourselves to others. We want the same cars, the women/men, the fame/glory, the new house, private jets, good schools, we want the position our co-worker got, and many more. Not knowing that our time is going to come. Find out your potential, search inside yourself for the TRUE desire of your heart. Yes, you want money but why do you want money? To show off? To “shit on your haters”? To look the best? To stand out? To support the family? To change the world? To show others then can make it to? To support your friends? To help with planet? Yes, you want that promotion but why do you want that promotion? For the money? For the recognition? For the office? For the corporate perks? Or for better benefits? Or to make the right changes in the company? To see the world more? To better your resume? Yes, you want love but why do you want love? To live up to fake standards? To simply not be alone? To flaunt on social media? Or because you truly want it? To grow? To make changes? To live out your life with that special someone? Ask yourself these questions on the goals and missions you have in life: why do you want? What is the difference it will have in your life? What are you willing to change to get it? The mind is your most powerful and most damaging tool: use it wisely. The potential is there, you just need search within for it. Remember that and trust yourself to make the right decisions.
Day 7. The Goal is the search yourself for that potential. Search yourself for the determination and ambition to go out there and make your life better. Search within yourself and within your faith that things are possible for you. The Goal is to own your beauty and your essence; even when you don’t feel like it, keep pushing towards your goals and keep holding yourself to a higher regard. As we reach over the hurdle this Wednesday, let’s remember that the best is yet to come.
Wellness Mission: 100 squats. 10 Minutes of Mediation.