I’m tired, zoning in and out, moody, and cold… I just want to get home. Cruising like I couldn’t careless; I usually speed… but today I’m doing the exact same number that speed limit sign says: 60. Car on cruise so I don’t have to keep my foot on the pedal… I’m still zoning out. Finally I “come to” and realize I’m catching up to a slow truck.. instead of braking my mind said to pass him. 67 as we go over a hill I see a truck coming on the opposite side… fuck. 103. Near miss. I almost died. If it wasn’t for the truck driver swerving his car just enough for my small car to fit perfectly, we would have hit. If it wasn’t for the heavens making that decision in the background to fix the situation, I probably wouldn’t be typing this right now. Creepy. I felt nothing. Not nervous, relieved, scared or shocked; it’s like I accepted my fate or I simply knew nothing was going to happen. I’m still not sure.
I got home and sat in my car for a bit thinking about what just happened and how I lacked any true emotions about it. Constantly in a rush with life, I made a decision that could have costed me everything: literally. lessons are always being learnt. Slow down. You rush into love, sex, being rich, working, friendships, and the steps in growing up like marriage and kids; time waits for no one, in an instance it can be taken away. Stay true yourself bee, this lifestyle and mentality you are living is only going to do more bad than good. Breathe. Remember your goals. I gotta change my life man….
[Bee signed out]